Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I was trying to take E to therapy this morning, when I noticed a HUGE (no kidding, it's about 2.5 inches long,) dark brown, hairy Spider with long stalk-y eyes staring at me from the passenger seat. I turned the corner, slammed the brakes, pulled the kid out of the car, and proceeded to tear apart the car looking for him. Can't find Spider.

I called Jes to tell him what I was doing. No help. A Nice Man from the church came by and helped me. Can't find Spider.

I strip the kid down to his undies looking for Spider. I dumped out my purse. I pulled up all the carpets. Can't find Spider.

Nice Man calls the fire department. "Uh, yeah, I have a very pregnant lady with her small child here, trying to find a Giant Spider. Can you help us?"

Five minutes later the fire truck pulls up, and three giant firemen climbed out. Gloves on, ready to help me find Giant Spider.

They proceed to tear apart the entire car, carseat, glovebox, and all the little cubbies a Honda Pilot has. Can't find Spider.

They suggest I drive to the hardware store and buy a bug bomb. I'm all for it, but there's no way I'm driving that car anywhere. One of them offers to drive the car home, and E and I climb into the fire truck for a quick ride home. I tell him he'd better remember this ride, because unless he's a firefighter when he's a "very big boy" he's not going to see the inside of one.

By the way, I still can't find Spider. We're taking the other car to the hardware store and buying the biggest, nastiest bug bomb we can find. And I will get rid of him.

(No Spiders were harmed in this story. (That will be later tonight.))

(No, I'm not usually so scared of spiders. But we just got back from Eastern Washington, and I really hope nothing poisonous hitched a ride back with us. And it was all of a foot away from my son.)

(Sorry for the giant lag in posts. I'm pregnant.)


Carisa Cairns said...

You know, I keep trying to tell myself I'm not scared of spiders, but nothing else is more capable of alarming the shit out of me when I see them. I mean, I've seen car bombs and just WAR in general, and oooh no- spiders still make me all squirmy and nervous.

You make me laugh Jessie- "please Sah, I want some more"...

oh-and your about me thingy doesn't mention your supernatural doula powers.

Jessie Keating :: Tiny House said...

Haha! Thanks Carisa! I'm glad I'm not the only one terrified of a tiny creature (which happens to be disgusting and dirty and bite-y.) And I fixed my About Me, thanks!

Anonymous said...

1: You are obviously related to your Mom. I recall a story she told me about a wee little girl putting something in her mouth, seeing her doing it from across the room, recognizing that it was a spider - about to be eaten by her precious unknowing daughter and SCREAMING at her from top of her lungs "POOOTY!!!!" Daughter in question then is so alarmed she launches the offensive spider across the room.
Then.... calmly, your mom realizes the child will now need years of therapy, cuz she's crying. Where as the spider was most likely only a few calories and minor protein.
Years of therapy..... we're still going with that one, ah?

2: Have you read Charlotte's Web? Get to know a spider, it might help.

Anonymous said...

And... bug bombs:
Did you see the show of Myth Busters about bug bombs. Too many in a confined space can cause an explosion.
And - these are potentially more toxic than the ONE spider, oh pregnant lady, with a wee child.

climbing off soap box.

Susanne said...

*SHUDDER* Oh God.... that's terrible.

They have those eco/child friendly sprays. They are peppermint oil & some other things.

Alex @TinyHouseTalk said...

Haha! Well, glad that you did not get bit. Yesterday night my neighbor calls me and says "Do you like cockroaches?" She had a nice family of LARGE roaches crawling all over her apartment and she was freaking out. Has anyone else vacuumed roaches before because they didn't want to crush them?

Jessie Keating :: Tiny House said...

Haha Anita, that story is awesome! I'll have to remind Mom of that since she laughed so hard at my traumatizing story. :O)

I didn't use the bug spray, since it's so unsafe. So if Giant Spider jumps out at me while I'm driving, I'm screwed.

Roaches--I have a story about roaches...didn't involve a vacuum cleaner, but it did involve staying up all night, a broom, and yelling "Die, Bastard!" several times. Oh, Mexico, I miss you...